If you have secured a date with
someone new, you'll want to put your best foot forward on that first
date in order to demonstrate your value. Being charming plays a big role
in that. However, the key to being truly charming is to simply be
yourself. Of course, you can give yourself an edge by dressing right,
making sure you're relaxed and generally doing whatever it takes to feel
confident and comfortable.
Step 1
Think
of the event as less of a date and more as a fun night out. If you
approach the date with the goal of trying to impress her, she is going
to notice and sense desperation. Rather, think in practical terms; you
are going to have a drink with someone you want to get to know. She may
end up dating you or you may end up making a friend. Either way, focus
on having fun just as you would on your nights out with your friends.
This will make you more calm and laid back, which will make your natural
charm come through.
Step 2
Show
some mystery. Don't tell your date every single tidbit of information
about yourself. If he knows a few things about you, but still wonders
what else there is to learn, then he will likely find you intriguing.
Tell him a few key, positive things about yourself but save most of your
childhood stories, adolescent awards, crazy family members and college
dorm antics for later.
Step 3
Smile
and laugh. Be positive. Don't talk about how you hate your job or that
your roommates are a drag; the odds are your date gets annoyed with her
job from time to time and her roommates probably frustrate her, too.
Positivity is attractive.
Step 4
Compliment
him a little bit, but don't heap it on because you can make him feel
awkward and uncomfortable. Rather, just give him one unique, sincere
compliment that leaves him wanting more compliments. Tell him something
specific, such as "that red shirt is a really nice color on you," or
"you smell absolutely wonderful."
Step 5
Ask
questions about your date's life, job, and hobbies, then take the time
to listen to her answers. If you give her a chance to talk about herself
and actively listen by rephrasing her answers and maintaining eye
contact, you will make her feel valued and important, which can lead to a
second date.
Step 6
Be
yourself. Your date can probably smell phoniness a mile away, so don't
agree with things you wouldn't otherwise agree with and don't conform to
who you feel your date wants you to be.
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